Mirror

Sometimes I look in the mirror 

And like what I see

But that's rare

Other times

I look in the mirror 

And I want to destroy the person staring back

Hating every bit of flesh on me

With so much passion you would wonder why I'm not already dead

Every roll of fat

Every single scar

I don't like anything about me

When I look in the mirror 

I don't see something pretty

I don't see something nice

I see something that's hideous 

I want to shatter that mirror

And use the broken pieces 

To cut off all my fat

And scars

I want to cut and cut till there is a bathtub filled with blood

Till I'm drowning in it

The mirror doesn't show me anything I ever like

Sometimes

Those rare times 

I see a glimpse of a collar bone

But then its swallowed by fat

Or I see a bit of beauty but then it disappears

No one would want a fat fuck like me

I'm never good enough

And I know exactly why

Because I'm fat and a cutter